The road not taken

Minnams has written before on the subject of near misses, and I sometimes play this game in my own head, too: what if I'd stayed at school that weekend instead of going home; what if I'd answered the door instead of ignoring the knock; what if I'd not gone to England. I enjoyed seeing this notion of near-misses play out in both The Post-Birthday World and Sliding Doors (shut up, it's not a bad movie!).

Anyway, I forgot to mention that, while we were in Vegas, we participated in one of those market research things where you watch a TV show and share your opinions, ostensibly for great prizes, but in reality for a couple of crappy food court coupons that we didn't even use. Anyway, the show we watched was Welcome to the Captain, which apparently has been airing since February. I had vaguely heard about the show, but had no idea that it had already been on TV, and it strikes me as odd that they're doing viewer-testing of the pilot after the fact, but who knows. Maybe they're looking to make some tweaks? I don't actually know that it's salvageable, to tell the truth. I love Jeffrey Tambor to pieces, but I think even he cannot save a show that features Chris Klein.

Chris Klein just annoys the crap out of me. He is like a less talented, less attractive, more wooden Keanu (and I am no big fan of Keanu, either, but he at least was Ted Theodore Logan, and I can't think of anything that Klein's done that I love). He's oily and smarmy without being edgy or sexy or ironic; he seems to aim for surfer-chill without being cool enough to pull it off.

And I wonder whether Katie Holmes has watched this dopey show, whether she thinks about her near-miss with Chris Klein, whether she wonders about how her life would have gone had she married him instead of Tom. I suspect she wouldn't be friends with Posh; she likely would have been sort of a B-list actress who got the occasional nod from People magazine when her former co-stars got married or when she came out with a new movie. I think she's not quite as talented as Keri Russell, but I imagine that they'd get about the same level of attention if Katie had stuck with Chris instead of building this life -- or scam, depending on your perspective -- with Tom. I think Suri is super-cute, and Katie clearly adores her, so I expect that she's for that alone pretty pleased with her choice, but does she ever think longingly about what life would be like if she'd chosen differently?

[I was about to make a comparison to Joey choosing Pacey over Dawson, but I think that gives Tom too much credit and, if I'm honest, Chris Klein not enough.]

And what about Ginnifer Goodwin? Does she watch this TV show and think, "What a tool! I can do so much better! Whither my Scientologist in shining armor?!" Or does she feel grateful that it didn't work out, the way I feel grateful that it didn't work out between the Smelmooo and his ex? Because despite being annoying as an actor, Klein could be a totally nice person, a perfect boyfriend.

I just had this flashback to a shot in People or US or some other goofy magazine of Katie Holmes and Chris Klein getting ready to cross the street, and the caption was something like, "C'mon, Katie! Chris wants to hold your hand!" because he's reaching out to her and she's turned in the opposite direction and not paying any attention. Which I'm sure was included as evidence of their impending demise if anyone bothered with a body-language post mortem of their relationship. But remembering that makes me think slightly more of him as a person, or at least feel for him a little, and hope that he's a good guy for Ginnifer.

Hey, is Kirsten Dunst out of rehab yet? I feel like she's been totally under the radar since going in. I am happy about that; maybe it means she's getting better, for real, and not just that I'm out of the celebrity gossip loop.