Happy Golden Days

I feel as though the holidays have come and gone more quickly than usual this year, for some reason, even though New Year's is still ahead of us. But Christmas was over in a heartbeat, which made me a little sad, even though I enjoyed it enormously. It felt a little like a transition year, or maybe last year was the transition year, and this was the first year of the rest of our lives.

Christmas is largely about traditions, of course, and during the past few years, we've seen the end of some traditions, some false starts with new ones, and maybe a couple that will stick. It's hard to keep up as families grow and change, as people get married and merge their lives and try to squish everything together that was once separately maintained.

Probably 35 years ago, my parents and their best friends and their kids went to a special Mass a few weeks before Christmas where Santa Claus would show up and collect toys for what are now called "underresourced families" but at the time I'm sure where just poor kids. That year, and every year after, everyone -- which ultimately included eight kids, eight kids-in-law and 11 grandkids, long after Santa stopped going to the church -- would gather at my parents' house for the annual "Santa Brunch," which usually coincided with Santa's visit to the neighborhood on a firetruck. When we were kids, we saw these family friends all the time, but as time wore on, the Santa Brunch was the only time we'd see our "cousins" and their kids all year, except for weddings, so it was a huge treat to see them and see how their kids -- the oldest is now in high school -- were growing up. But last year, my parents moved to their new home in mid-December, it was too hectic and probably too small a space, and just like that, gone was our decades-long tradition. No one really brought it up this year; it was just sort of an unspoken agreement, I guess, that the three generations' lives were too crazy and scattered to continue it, so Poof. Done.

Which makes me a little sad, but part of me is like, "Phew! One less thing to deal with over the holidays." Maybe we should do a Christmas-in-July pool party instead. I like all the people we see over the holidays, but because it's the holiday season there's just pressure and angst and it's one more thing and it sort of defeats the whole purpose of kicking back and enjoying each other's company.

Last year was also the start of some new traditions: with my parents' move, my brother and sister-in-law took over hosting duties for Christmas day, and it seems like this one is sticking. They have a huge, huge house with a giant kid-friendly basement; my brother's an amazing cook (and it turns out my sister-in-law makes a great mac-and-cheese); they're centrally located. This year, the kids actually took turns opening their presents, rather than just running into the living room and attacking the piles and wreaking such havoc that no one knew in the end which gifts belonged to which kid. But they're suddenly at these perfect ages where they're well-behaved (mostly) and patient (mostly) and open (almost) every gift with wide-eyed gratitude and enthusiasm. Our nephew Jake was as excited about his dollar-store gift -- a crappy plastic game with some of the pieces already broken) as he was about his new microscope and his dinosaur set. Julia opened a dress from my mom, immediately abandoned her pile of unopened gifts, and returned two minutes later wearing the new dress, having discarded her beloved American Girl outfit so she could show off the new outfit from her Gram. And it seemed, in fact, to be more about showing her appreciation than just reveling in something new. To some extent, these kids are spoiled like mad, but they're grateful for everything, and they're genuinely good, generous kids, which warms my heart and makes me proud. It's wonderful to spend Christmas with those kids.

Someone I work with just said to me, entirely seriously, "I think that my husband and I are going to have a baby this year, just so we don't have to run around so much during the holidays. If we have a kid, we have an excuse not to try to get everywhere and please everyone."

The Smelmooo and I did our own work-around of the running in a million directions this year. His family came to our house for Christmas Eve, which was quiet and mellow and lovely, and we did Christmas day with my family, with the kids and the chaos. We got to spend quality time with everyone, and I really enjoyed it, the not having to rush to leave my brother's place or to feel so exhausted at the end of the day that I can't keep my eyes open at the Smelmooo's parents. It's hard, letting go of the old traditions, but I'm enjoying some of the new ones, and I hope this Christmas Eve/Day split with the families will stick, at least until there are Smelmooo nieces and nephews running around, at which point maybe we'll flip it.

And I love the other traditions that I've married into: Mickey G's annual holiday party, where I eat better than I do all year, and am consistently awed by her mad hostessing and cooking skills; wrapping up fun presents for our stockings (Santa always brought my family very practical gifts -- lip balm, socks, a toothbrush, hand lotion -- for the stocking, and never bothered to wrap them. Imagine my surprise -- and the Smelmooo's immense disappointment -- when I got tons of chocolate and fun gifts, all individually wrapped, on our first Christmas together, and the Smelmooo got hand sanitizer and crap, albeit in a lovely hand-decorated stocking); lugging our tree alllllllllllllll the way across the street from the YMCA lot where we buy it; saving our change all year to buy ourselves a present at the end of the year; cooking and having people over on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, and listening to holiday music while we prepare. And this year, adding a Good Dog stocking to the mantle, and watching our newest addition enjoy the wrapping paper and the company and the many treats bestowed on him.

So yes, the holidays are pretty much over; the Insight Bowl is over (you almost pulled a win, guys! I was a proud pseudo-fan last night even though you lost it in the end); and I'm already seeing summer clothes at the mall as I return gifts and look for good post-season sales and tableware I never realized we don't have (a proper water pitcher, for example, and a serving bowl for smallish side dishes), and the rush to the next thing -- bring on the Valentines! -- is dizzying. Today, my first day back to work, my office is dead, dead, dead, but I know it's the calm before the storm, and that it'll be frenetic again next week. But for now, there is peace on earth, or at least in my little corner of it.