Today, I am...
...a Steve Poltz song. Specifically, the one called "Good Morning (Waking up with You)," which includes the line, "A hundred dollar phone bill, and it's multiplied by five. You look like a phone to me; hey, are you still alive?" I know that the Smelmooo knows I'm alive, but we have had a largely phone-based relationship as of late, and it stinks. I'm in San Francisco for work now (yay! great city, good colleagues; boo! crappy weather here, away from my hubby), and last week I went on a jaunt to Florida for a girls' weekend, which was just poor timing. And it's another two weeks, really, before the Smelmooo and I are both home together for a full weekend, even, never mind a full week.
...DJ Tanner in a Very Special Episode of Full House. I just used the elliptical machine in the hotel gym, and I looked like DJ on the weeklong-diet-and-exercise-binge episode, where she overdoes it at the gym in her big sweatshirt, when Stephanie and Becky take an aerobics class in their absurd '80s leotards and spandex, and then DJ passes out from overexertion, and there's a big family talk in the gym, and everyone hugs, and all is well and DJ never has body image issues again until the E! True Hollywood story. I didn't pass out or get an intervention, but I wasn't used to the machine, which absolutely kicked my ass, and the room was incredibly hot to begin with, so I emerged soaking wet and with a HUGE tomato face. I'll say it again: thank goodness I'm not at the gym to meet men or make friends, because I am not a pretty sight.
...my college roommate, who I'd find in the middle of the night crouched at my bedside, or sitting bolt upright in her bed, or crawling on the floor, or perched on the side of the desk. When she'd finally wake up, she would be incredibly disoriented, paranoid and apologetic, all at the same time, repeating, "It's okay...it's okay...sorry...I'm fine...I think it's fine..." until she fell back into a proper sleep. Sometimes she remembered it the next day, but more often not; she just had a vague sense that it'd been a tumultuous sleep. I woke up with a similar sense today; I was quite sure that my phone had been ringing at 11:30 last night -- the hotel room phone -- but I know I didn't answer it, and I'm not sure it was really, but I remember talking myself down and reminding myself that it was okay to go back to sleep.
...myself, ten years ago, when my best friend first year of college introduced me to her best friend from high school: excited, but also very anxious. Would she like me? Would I see in her what Katie did? And would she find me worthy of Katie's love and friendship? I'm out here in San Fran with Minnams, and her very best friend lives here, so we're all having dinner tonight. I'm so excited to meet this person I've heard so much about, and who's so dear to someone who's so dear to me; I just hope that she won't wonder what Minnams sees in me.
...Borat. I was dutifully doing my networking thing at this meeting, and I told a guy who's a fairly important contact that I looked forward to, I believe, "biting his ear on this," or maybe "chewing" his ear. I meant "bending" his ear -- something I can't ever remember myself saying (maybe I screwed it up because I'm unaccustomed to using that phrase) -- but I think I get self-conscious and insecure anyway when I'm meeting new people, and my mind just goes blank, and I need to stammer out something. Another stranger nearby overheard my slip, and totally giggled, and I felt like a giant idiot. But I think this wasn't my stupidest move today, even.
...Felicity, under Megan's clumsiness spell. I have a huge bump on my forehead -- and it hurts like a mother -- where I hit myself with the door when I entered the stall in the public restroom this afternoon. Yeah, you read that right. And, yeah, that just made me even more anxious about dinner, I think.
...DJ Tanner in a Very Special Episode of Full House. I just used the elliptical machine in the hotel gym, and I looked like DJ on the weeklong-diet-and-exercise-binge episode, where she overdoes it at the gym in her big sweatshirt, when Stephanie and Becky take an aerobics class in their absurd '80s leotards and spandex, and then DJ passes out from overexertion, and there's a big family talk in the gym, and everyone hugs, and all is well and DJ never has body image issues again until the E! True Hollywood story. I didn't pass out or get an intervention, but I wasn't used to the machine, which absolutely kicked my ass, and the room was incredibly hot to begin with, so I emerged soaking wet and with a HUGE tomato face. I'll say it again: thank goodness I'm not at the gym to meet men or make friends, because I am not a pretty sight.
...my college roommate, who I'd find in the middle of the night crouched at my bedside, or sitting bolt upright in her bed, or crawling on the floor, or perched on the side of the desk. When she'd finally wake up, she would be incredibly disoriented, paranoid and apologetic, all at the same time, repeating, "It's okay...it's okay...sorry...I'm fine...I think it's fine..." until she fell back into a proper sleep. Sometimes she remembered it the next day, but more often not; she just had a vague sense that it'd been a tumultuous sleep. I woke up with a similar sense today; I was quite sure that my phone had been ringing at 11:30 last night -- the hotel room phone -- but I know I didn't answer it, and I'm not sure it was really, but I remember talking myself down and reminding myself that it was okay to go back to sleep.
...myself, ten years ago, when my best friend first year of college introduced me to her best friend from high school: excited, but also very anxious. Would she like me? Would I see in her what Katie did? And would she find me worthy of Katie's love and friendship? I'm out here in San Fran with Minnams, and her very best friend lives here, so we're all having dinner tonight. I'm so excited to meet this person I've heard so much about, and who's so dear to someone who's so dear to me; I just hope that she won't wonder what Minnams sees in me.
...Borat. I was dutifully doing my networking thing at this meeting, and I told a guy who's a fairly important contact that I looked forward to, I believe, "biting his ear on this," or maybe "chewing" his ear. I meant "bending" his ear -- something I can't ever remember myself saying (maybe I screwed it up because I'm unaccustomed to using that phrase) -- but I think I get self-conscious and insecure anyway when I'm meeting new people, and my mind just goes blank, and I need to stammer out something. Another stranger nearby overheard my slip, and totally giggled, and I felt like a giant idiot. But I think this wasn't my stupidest move today, even.
...Felicity, under Megan's clumsiness spell. I have a huge bump on my forehead -- and it hurts like a mother -- where I hit myself with the door when I entered the stall in the public restroom this afternoon. Yeah, you read that right. And, yeah, that just made me even more anxious about dinner, I think.
1 Comments:
As long as you don't go all Jessie Spano in the "I'm So Excited" episode of Saved By the Bell, I think you are all good. Yay, San Francisco!
-S
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Anonymous, at 11:40 AM
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