This and that after a long hiatus
So many thoughts, so little inclination to blog, lately. Actually, a few weeks ago, when I was stuck at home with the flu (I assume the Swine, because apparently there aren't any other flu strains active right now. I didn't actually know that, even though I think of myself as a person who's reasonably up-to-speed on health issues), I was desperate to blog, but even reading and watching TV made my head ache, so blogging wasn't really an option.
About a week before I came down with the flu (and, oh, did I try to convince myself I did not have the flu: "There must be something weird with the thermostat in my office! I'll just throw on a sweater and a blanket to chase away the chills."), I was at a dinner for the Smelmooo's work, and one of the other spouses is a nurse. Who was going on, and on, and ON about how she would not be getting the H1N1 vaccine, because she was not interested in being anybody's lab rat (seriously, it could've been quite a drinking game if everyone took even half a sip every time she repeated that statement), how the vaccine wasn't well-tested for safety before they introduced it, and how upsetting she finds it that "all these immigrants who don't speak English can refuse treatment based on religious grounds, but they're trying to tell me that I, as a health care provider, should be vaccinated?"
It's a good thing that my parents raised me to be polite in social situations, because I wanted to yell at this woman; to argue with pretty much every word that came out of her mouth; to tell her she should be ashamed of herself, as a health care professional, for spreading so much misinformation; to tell everyone at the table who was buying her nonsense -- and why not? she's a nurse, she should know, right? -- that the risks associated with the H1N1 vaccine are no greater than those of a seasonal flu shot. But I don't think the people at my table would've trusted my M.P.H. over her R.N., and in general I think it's my job to play the pleasant, demure, supportive spouse at these events: to ask after children and grandchildren, to introduce safe topics like travel and theater and the weather, to engage fully where there are areas of agreement, to steer clear of politics and other areas of disagreement or heated emotion. So I sat by silently, listening to Nurse Lab Rat with a smile pasted on my lips, fighting to keep my eyebrows from revealing what I actually thought of her.
Anyway, I survived her, and I survived the Swine, although I still have an annoying cough that's not quite gone, and it took a good 10 days for me to get my energy back after I got sick. So there was lots and lots of lying around, and lots and lots of bad TV and movies: old 90210s, including the episodes where Kelly nearly gets raped at the Halloween party (where Donna is wearing the stupid mermaid costume, because she didn't learn from that stupid dress she wore at the spring dance) and the one where Scott shoots himself during his birthday party; Marley and Me, which still kind of makes me cry; lots of Game Show Network. I also watched Food Inc., which was really well done but completely horrifying. Watching that in the same week that Jonathan Safran Foer was on Ellen and in which I read a piece on his book in the New Yorker, I was pretty ready to turn vegan, or at least to give up chicken and eggs. I got over that pretty quickly, because my other takeaway from all of this is that, really, going vegan wouldn't be sufficient: I'd pretty much need to be a total locavore to make a real difference, and I don't find that to be a viable option, so I'm pretty much proceeding as usual, just feeling worse about myself for it.
A movie that is a wholly different kind of depressing: Precious. Oh, my gosh, what a hard movie to watch, which I knew going into it, but the Smelmooo and SCo had me convinced that there'd be redemption, and that I'd leave feeling inspired and hopeful. And absent that, I'd convinced myself that I could call up my memories of Mo'Nique as the dean of VH1's Charm School, and of the actress who played Precious dancing on Ellen, and be totally fine.
That totally did not work.
I didn't really need the 12 tissues I brought, but I felt like I'd been punched in the gut, repeatedly, when the movie was finally over. There were a few glimmers of hope in the story, some moments of redemption, but those didn't compare to the awful parts. Not even close. It was well-done, it was well-acted, it felt horrifyingly real and believable. It was a very good movie, but it's not one I need to see again, ever. I think I'm glad I saw it, but oof, it took a lot out of me, and it's really sticking with me. An Education was a much better overall movie experience.
Some more random thoughts:
-- I'm anxious about the health reform bill. I'm excited by last night's Senate vote, but there is still such a looooooooong way to go that I can't help but worry it'll all fall apart, that nothing will get passed (or that what does get passed will be so small and have such a limited impact that it'll scare people from passing stronger reform down the line, because this bill will be so watered-down that opponents can point to it as a colossal failure, so why even try?). Sigh.
-- I'm also fascinated by the controversy over the new studies about cancer screenings for women, in part because I remember having these exact same conversations in my first semester of grad school. At which point we talked about the role of politics and the role of advocates and how often they're at odds with the science. So none of the pushback we're seeing now is surprising, really, but it's troubling to me that the reaction from leaders is, "Okay, it's cool. We'll ignore the research findings and not change anything in terms of formal guidelines, because we can't deal with the ensuing shitstorm." I get it, especially because of the delicate timing with the reform bill pending (seriously, I do have to say that I don't get why the researchers would release their findings right now, although I've worked with enough researchers to know that they often don't really think about these sorts of things), but I still find it troubling.
-- I love, love, love my newest little nephew. I sound just like my mom, who loves all of her grandkids but always has a special affection for the infants (my dad, on the other hand, kind of keeps his distance until they're a little more mobile and vocal), but I love cuddling and just staring at the little guy, who's already seven months old. He won't be a baby much longer, so I'm grateful for the time I have with him at this age.
-- I met up in person with a close high school friend who I hadn't seen since probably my first year of college. We'd reconnected on Facebook, and he was in NYC for a work trip (he lives in the midwest), so we met up at Grand Central for an hour. It was a perfect amount of time; we each did the "Here's what I've been doing the last 14 years," and then we were done. In some ways, it was comforting to realize that he hadn't changed much, but I quickly realized that the things I didn't like about him also hadn't changed, and that there was a reason we didn't stay close after high school. I expect he felt the same way, because I also have changed much. I'm still glad to have caught up with him, but I'm glad we didn't have a leisurely dinner or anything.
-- Comedy clubs are sort of hit-or-miss for me, and sometimes I get very uncomfortable because I'm kind of a prude, but we recently saw Greg Giraldo, and he was freakin' hilarious. Anyone who can work "Hakuna Matata" into his stand-up routine is someone I can appreciate.
-- Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and I'm for some reason especially looking forward to it this year. We've already celebrated with the Smelmooo's family, because his brother will be traveling this Thursday, so we're just at my folks' for dinner. We'll still be running around a bit this year, because we're doing a 5K run in the morning, kind of far from my parents' house, but I think it'll be fun. We picked up our numbers and our t-shirts and stuff yesterday, and I got a cute pink souvenir shirt for the run. I'm such a dork. Probably I should run more than a 5K to make up for all the food I'm going to eat on Thanksgiving, and that whole weekend (various friends in from out of town = lots of getting together for meals), but at least we're not having two turkey dinners on Thanksgiving proper this year.
-- I think I've been using the word "proper" a lot lately. I wonder if it's because I've been reading British authors recently. I loved Mil Millington's "A Certain Chemistry" (a recommendation from MinnaRice), but didn't end up liking his earlier book, "Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About." The protagonist in Chemistry was kind of a dope, and a bit of a sad sack, but he had redeeming qualities, as did all of the flawed characters in the book. In Argued, I just got bored of the protagonist being a jerk, and a fool, and his girlfriend was horrible, and I couldn't figure out why they'd stay together, and I just didn't enjoy spending time with them, at all. I think I'm going to read Nick Hornby's newest one next.
-- I don't get the Robert Pattinson obsession. I feel bad for him, that he's constantly getting mobbed, but I don't, myself, get the appeal. Is it because I haven't seen Twilight? Maybe I'm just getting old. Probably. I think this entry suggests that I'm old and crotchety.
About a week before I came down with the flu (and, oh, did I try to convince myself I did not have the flu: "There must be something weird with the thermostat in my office! I'll just throw on a sweater and a blanket to chase away the chills."), I was at a dinner for the Smelmooo's work, and one of the other spouses is a nurse. Who was going on, and on, and ON about how she would not be getting the H1N1 vaccine, because she was not interested in being anybody's lab rat (seriously, it could've been quite a drinking game if everyone took even half a sip every time she repeated that statement), how the vaccine wasn't well-tested for safety before they introduced it, and how upsetting she finds it that "all these immigrants who don't speak English can refuse treatment based on religious grounds, but they're trying to tell me that I, as a health care provider, should be vaccinated?"
It's a good thing that my parents raised me to be polite in social situations, because I wanted to yell at this woman; to argue with pretty much every word that came out of her mouth; to tell her she should be ashamed of herself, as a health care professional, for spreading so much misinformation; to tell everyone at the table who was buying her nonsense -- and why not? she's a nurse, she should know, right? -- that the risks associated with the H1N1 vaccine are no greater than those of a seasonal flu shot. But I don't think the people at my table would've trusted my M.P.H. over her R.N., and in general I think it's my job to play the pleasant, demure, supportive spouse at these events: to ask after children and grandchildren, to introduce safe topics like travel and theater and the weather, to engage fully where there are areas of agreement, to steer clear of politics and other areas of disagreement or heated emotion. So I sat by silently, listening to Nurse Lab Rat with a smile pasted on my lips, fighting to keep my eyebrows from revealing what I actually thought of her.
Anyway, I survived her, and I survived the Swine, although I still have an annoying cough that's not quite gone, and it took a good 10 days for me to get my energy back after I got sick. So there was lots and lots of lying around, and lots and lots of bad TV and movies: old 90210s, including the episodes where Kelly nearly gets raped at the Halloween party (where Donna is wearing the stupid mermaid costume, because she didn't learn from that stupid dress she wore at the spring dance) and the one where Scott shoots himself during his birthday party; Marley and Me, which still kind of makes me cry; lots of Game Show Network. I also watched Food Inc., which was really well done but completely horrifying. Watching that in the same week that Jonathan Safran Foer was on Ellen and in which I read a piece on his book in the New Yorker, I was pretty ready to turn vegan, or at least to give up chicken and eggs. I got over that pretty quickly, because my other takeaway from all of this is that, really, going vegan wouldn't be sufficient: I'd pretty much need to be a total locavore to make a real difference, and I don't find that to be a viable option, so I'm pretty much proceeding as usual, just feeling worse about myself for it.
A movie that is a wholly different kind of depressing: Precious. Oh, my gosh, what a hard movie to watch, which I knew going into it, but the Smelmooo and SCo had me convinced that there'd be redemption, and that I'd leave feeling inspired and hopeful. And absent that, I'd convinced myself that I could call up my memories of Mo'Nique as the dean of VH1's Charm School, and of the actress who played Precious dancing on Ellen, and be totally fine.
That totally did not work.
I didn't really need the 12 tissues I brought, but I felt like I'd been punched in the gut, repeatedly, when the movie was finally over. There were a few glimmers of hope in the story, some moments of redemption, but those didn't compare to the awful parts. Not even close. It was well-done, it was well-acted, it felt horrifyingly real and believable. It was a very good movie, but it's not one I need to see again, ever. I think I'm glad I saw it, but oof, it took a lot out of me, and it's really sticking with me. An Education was a much better overall movie experience.
Some more random thoughts:
-- I'm anxious about the health reform bill. I'm excited by last night's Senate vote, but there is still such a looooooooong way to go that I can't help but worry it'll all fall apart, that nothing will get passed (or that what does get passed will be so small and have such a limited impact that it'll scare people from passing stronger reform down the line, because this bill will be so watered-down that opponents can point to it as a colossal failure, so why even try?). Sigh.
-- I'm also fascinated by the controversy over the new studies about cancer screenings for women, in part because I remember having these exact same conversations in my first semester of grad school. At which point we talked about the role of politics and the role of advocates and how often they're at odds with the science. So none of the pushback we're seeing now is surprising, really, but it's troubling to me that the reaction from leaders is, "Okay, it's cool. We'll ignore the research findings and not change anything in terms of formal guidelines, because we can't deal with the ensuing shitstorm." I get it, especially because of the delicate timing with the reform bill pending (seriously, I do have to say that I don't get why the researchers would release their findings right now, although I've worked with enough researchers to know that they often don't really think about these sorts of things), but I still find it troubling.
-- I love, love, love my newest little nephew. I sound just like my mom, who loves all of her grandkids but always has a special affection for the infants (my dad, on the other hand, kind of keeps his distance until they're a little more mobile and vocal), but I love cuddling and just staring at the little guy, who's already seven months old. He won't be a baby much longer, so I'm grateful for the time I have with him at this age.
-- I met up in person with a close high school friend who I hadn't seen since probably my first year of college. We'd reconnected on Facebook, and he was in NYC for a work trip (he lives in the midwest), so we met up at Grand Central for an hour. It was a perfect amount of time; we each did the "Here's what I've been doing the last 14 years," and then we were done. In some ways, it was comforting to realize that he hadn't changed much, but I quickly realized that the things I didn't like about him also hadn't changed, and that there was a reason we didn't stay close after high school. I expect he felt the same way, because I also have changed much. I'm still glad to have caught up with him, but I'm glad we didn't have a leisurely dinner or anything.
-- Comedy clubs are sort of hit-or-miss for me, and sometimes I get very uncomfortable because I'm kind of a prude, but we recently saw Greg Giraldo, and he was freakin' hilarious. Anyone who can work "Hakuna Matata" into his stand-up routine is someone I can appreciate.
-- Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and I'm for some reason especially looking forward to it this year. We've already celebrated with the Smelmooo's family, because his brother will be traveling this Thursday, so we're just at my folks' for dinner. We'll still be running around a bit this year, because we're doing a 5K run in the morning, kind of far from my parents' house, but I think it'll be fun. We picked up our numbers and our t-shirts and stuff yesterday, and I got a cute pink souvenir shirt for the run. I'm such a dork. Probably I should run more than a 5K to make up for all the food I'm going to eat on Thanksgiving, and that whole weekend (various friends in from out of town = lots of getting together for meals), but at least we're not having two turkey dinners on Thanksgiving proper this year.
-- I think I've been using the word "proper" a lot lately. I wonder if it's because I've been reading British authors recently. I loved Mil Millington's "A Certain Chemistry" (a recommendation from MinnaRice), but didn't end up liking his earlier book, "Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About." The protagonist in Chemistry was kind of a dope, and a bit of a sad sack, but he had redeeming qualities, as did all of the flawed characters in the book. In Argued, I just got bored of the protagonist being a jerk, and a fool, and his girlfriend was horrible, and I couldn't figure out why they'd stay together, and I just didn't enjoy spending time with them, at all. I think I'm going to read Nick Hornby's newest one next.
-- I don't get the Robert Pattinson obsession. I feel bad for him, that he's constantly getting mobbed, but I don't, myself, get the appeal. Is it because I haven't seen Twilight? Maybe I'm just getting old. Probably. I think this entry suggests that I'm old and crotchety.
