Miss Manners

Okay, so I'm admittedly a little bit rigid, and once in a while have unreasonable expectations about how people ought to behave in a given situation. I'm trying to loosen up a bit, and really, the Smelmooo has been a phenomenal influence on me in this area. Really. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true.

But still, despite this progress, I still find it totally absurd that grown-ups can sometimes be so badly behaved. We had a discussion the other day about how the Internet and other technological advances are ruining our ability to interact with each other in meaningful ways, and I have to admit I'm starting to agree. A short list of my pet peeves of the day (office edition):

-- Fairly regularly, if someone in our office doesn't pick up his or her phone after a few rings, someone else will answer. Sometimes it's the person's assistant; sometimes it's just some random other person in that same department. So, when I'm calling Mary, and you pick up the phone and say, "Hi, Tangent Woman," or even just, "Mary's office," I have no idea who the heck you are. Who are you? Help me out, here. If you're a random person half a mile down the hall from the person I need, you can give me very different information and help than if you're the person's assistant and sit right outside her office. A little help, please. And, really? Just common courtesy. Yeesh.

-- Put a damn subject in your emails. Really.

-- While I'm at it, don't type your whole freakin' message in the subject line, unless it's seven words or fewer. Maybe 10, if they're short.

-- While I'm at it, don't cry wolf with "high importance."

-- While I'm at it, I'll throw in Seth's email pet peeve, which I violated about 10 minutes ago, but I think it bugs him less when it's from a friend (I hope): Especially if we don't really know each other, use my name (a salutation, if you will) and yours (a signature) if you're sending me an email. Again, common courtesy.

-- Wash. Your. Hands. I still don't understand how people can use the (public!) toilet and not wash their hands, especially if they aren't alone in the restroom, and they're in there with other people they know and work with. Really, if hygiene isn't your bag, don't you at least have enough pride not to want to be labeled as a disgusting non-hand-washer and gossiped about by your co-workers? And, even grosser, someone just cited a statistic to me yesterday that I hope was made up: hospital doctors wash their hands between patients less than a third of the time. I'm sure that I can look this up somewhere, but I'm totally afraid of what I'll find.

-- If you have a foot injury, I sympathize. Really. It must suck to have to hobble around for months and to wear that big boot or whatever. But regardless, it's not okay to put your bare disgusting foot up on a conference room table, especially next to me. Elevating your covered foot on the chair next to me? Totally fine, and even doctor-recommended, I bet. But keep that bare foot with the disgusting toenails far away from me, please (although after seeing The Office last week, I guess I should count myself lucky with these foot injury people).

I think I need another vacation. Or maybe just to work from home more often (although I guess that wouldn't address my myriad email issues), because boy do people bug me.