tangentwoman

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Ewwwww

Last night, I went to my very first dinner with my organization's board of trustees. I've been here for ages and ages, but just got promoted about a month ago, when I was elevated to the priviliged, just-above-the-threshold position that allows me to be (at least in theory) a known entity the board members.

I'd heard that the dinners are always yummy and lovely, but I didn't quite realize that it's set up like a wedding reception, with your name on a card with a seating assignment (along with your dinner choice in huge letters -- it was sort of fitting, I think, to see "Tangent Woman -- CHICKEN" on my card). And then everyone sort of jockeys for the best seat, which is, to some people's minds, next to a board member, but to me was "not next to the total jackass co-worker at the table" and also, preferably, NOT next to a board member.

I ended up next to a kind of sucky co-worker, but not next to a trustee, and on my other side was one of my favorite co-workers (her EQ is off the charts, and she always asks the right questions and says the right things to stimulate interesting but not stressful conversations; she's pretty much the antithesis of me), so I felt pretty lucky.

Anyway, I'd gone for the CHICKEN because it was accompanied by risotto, of which I'm a huge fan. I'm an incredibly picky eater (although getting slightly more adventurous the older I get; I realize you can't function as a grown-up without occasionally sucking up a bad meal or a food you don't really like), so work dinners are always a challenge, especially if they're fancy, because in general my issue is with condiments. I just don't like them, and they tend to be abundant on fancy foods. Grill me up some chicken with some rosemary or something, but don't throw mustard on it, or mango chutney, or anything of that nature on there. Anyway, salad dressing is also a problem for me, and the salad was swimming in it, so I ate the raspberries that accompanied it and then gave up on the rest. What I thought was a portobello mushroom turned out to be chocolate cream cheese. Weird, huh?

So anyway, I was starving by the time dinner arrived, because no one passed the damn bread, and I was stubborn about the salad. So there's this lovely chicken, and some cooked carrots (newly added to my "Yes, I'll eat that" category, I'm proud to say...baby steps...), and asparagus risotto.

Asparagus is still firmly in the "I will not eat that" category, but I just picked it out and pushed it to the side (Minnams tells me I'm masterful at this trick, although I think I'm fairly obvious and childish about it, but I appreciate her saying so) and ate the rest of the risotto, which was pretty delicious.

But then, when I got home, I realized that even eating asparagus risotto without the risotto makes your pee smell like asparagus pee. And I cannot get it to stop. I asked one of my co-workers (damn you, Minnams, for enjoying a sunny day in the East Village without me when I'm having a personal hygiene crisis!) whether this is normal, and how long the asparagus pee would persist, because we're going on 20 hours here and it's not letting up. She insisted that I simply need to drink a ton of water, but I'm starting to get concerned that this has permanently altered my body's delicate balance and that I'll be saddled with this forever, like how my belly button hasn't ever recovered its original shape following my gallbladder surgery 11 years ago.

So, yeah. Asparagus pee. Eww.

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